Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Bit Bummed

Yesterday, I had to drive my mom and brother to the airport and say my goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. I always brush them off as quickly as possible as they are never easy and break my heart.
We always have such silly fun and they truly helped to take my mind off my jumbly life. I have to admit that right now I am dealing with some bad decisions I have made. It is making things quite complicated and I have to learn how to become a business women in order to avoid being completely walked over. I am trying my best to stay calm, cool, and collected but it has been a stressful few weeks. I can’t help but beat myself up and repeat all the ‘what if scenarios’ in my head. It isn’t the most fun place to be and I feel bad as I know I’ve let quite a few people down. I hate having to cause any conflict as controversy is something I will avoid at all costs though I realize now that it is a part of life and a part of life that I must come face-to-face with. The hardest part is not knowing how to fix everything and not knowing who to trust. I realized this year that triathlon is not as simple as training and racing. I’ve learned some hard lessons and now am trying to unravel my little mess. I’m crossing my fingers that somehow everything will magically work out but am currently very disappointed in myself and my current situation. Happy blog, right? Sorry. Things will clear up soon. I’m just a bit bummed.


Barefoot AngieB said...

I hope peace finds you soon and that you ride out the storm easily. I am awful with conflict. I have to actively work to be productive in it instead of panic and destroy more.
Take good care and glad you had a nice time with your family. My hubby is out of town now so I feel a bit down too since its been 2 weeks now.