Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Code Red!

No, the picture above is not from a National Geographic photo expedition. The picture was taken from my shower. Horrifying. A CODE RED situation. It happened like this:

After a 5 plus hour day of double biking, I decided that a deep cleansing shower was in order due to the fact that I may have mistakenly forgotten to shower after workout #1 instead taking a 2-hour power nap and hit workout #2 crusty, salty, sweating and absolutely disgusting. I fear this may not be the only time this happens at camp and I do want to apologize to my teammates for this little unfortunate mishap.

So, off into the shower I go. There I am singing and dancing with bubbles floating all around me and then, I peer through my sudsy eyes to see a hairy creature twice the size of me **slight exaggeration** sitting in the corner waiting to pounce. I squeal and squirm and panic. How am I going to finish my shower with this blood sucking, life-threatening thing staring at me with his beady, ginormous eyes?! At first, I think…forget the shower and run for the hills but then I remember I didn’t even take shower #1 today so I best scrub for the sake of hygiene and, I kid you not, I actually stepped outside my shower into my bedroom closing the door and soaped myself up in my room. Then, when water was necessary, I went back to the shower making sure to keep the door open for a quick escape in the case the spider attempted any fancy movements. I had visions of this spider taking me hostage, wrapping me in his silky web and feasting on my amazingly meaty body for the next year. Oh scary!

Once I was squeaky clean and properly dressed, I screamed for coach at the top of my lungs…Coach! Coach! Help me. Help me. My life is in severe jeopardy! Of course, coach didn’t respond and I had to go to plan B, which was run through the halls of the hotel until I ran into a man or lady willing to risk their pretty little life for a girl like me. Luckily, there was a man nearby who took that spider and man wrestled him until its heart stopped beating…though, unfortunately for me, 2 legs were left on the floor after the wrestling match and they quivered and shook. I closed my eyes and picked the legs up (with a paper towel) and through the squirmy massive legs into the trash bin.

Hopefully this mama massive spider didn’t lay baby eggs all over my room…I’m going to have nightmares!


NJ said...

Oh yuck! I'm getting the creepy crawlies just looking at that picture...I had to scroll down past it quickly to read. When we lived in Mexico when I was young, we had large wood spiders, tarantulas and black widows. Bet you're double checking the shower and all the corners here on out.