Friday, January 8, 2010

The Sacred Pineapple

I don’t know many things in this world but one thing I do know is pineapples. I’m not sure if I believe in reincarnation though there are days that I swear I was once a pineapple in a past life. I have that connection, a blood bond of sorts and if you look at me just right with eyes squinted, head turned in a peculiar manner, and lighting quite dark, yes, I may even resemble a pineapple. So, when it comes to picking a truly fresh ripe pineapple, I can guarantee a perfect pick.

Today, in the store, there was a man in his early 30s scouring the pineapple selection. I knew from my first look that he was an amateur. On most occasions, I ignore such inexperienced fruit pickers but not today. The man selected such a horrificly flawed fruit that I, Kate Pallardy, stepped in. He may of thought I was crazy (I am!) and he may thought I have crossed the unseen grocery personal bubble but I was there saying – you my friend are picking a bad pineapple and delicately showed him the light. I am a hero and deserve a fruit cape to fly around and save more victims of bad fruit selection.

Guidelines on how to pick a proper pineapple:

Color must be slightly green, slightly yellow
Touch must be firm with a little give…not squishy!
Smell must be present just slightly. Overly pungent and its bad.

Make sure the crown (top of the pineapple) is not dry. The crown
should look fresh and green and you should
be able to easily pull a leaf from a ripe pineapple.

FACT: I have had pineapple 100 days in a row.

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