Thursday, July 16, 2009

Trying to make it Honest

The Training Race. I know people hate when someone calls a race a training day. It is like they are taking the easy way out preparing for a bad day with an excuse, “hey, it was a training day and I logged 50 training hours this week sleeping only 2 hours a night”. Well, I am here to say that I am racing Vineman and will give it all that I have but fully am aware that I may have my butt handed to me on the course. Do I consider this a training race? Yes, though for me, every race is a training day. I am getting educated out there. Racing isn’t just swim, bike, run fast there are other things aka transitions---3 minutes not acceptable.

I am feeling slightly less than 100% going into Vinman. I wish I could say it was ok but oh quite the contrary. Who likes to go to race and get a major beat down?! Not I though the field is super duper stacked. I am super duper heavy legged and tapering will only begin on Friday. Plus, this week I have had the beautiful addition of a slight ailment which I hate to admit because it makes me sad and disappointed. My right leg is, specifically my hamstring and calf, numb and tingling. No pain just odd feeling and reminds me that something isn’t right. I know it stems from my back. A nerve of sorts is most likely pinched or inflamed due to training (pushing a big gear up the damn cali canyons). I haven’t done anything to help it go away unless training more and crying to Mike counts. I was hoping I would just wake up and magic…my leg is back. Last night, I had the awful dream that I woke up and my leg was dead as in black----holy moly! I promise to do yoga today with heated stretching and maybe even an ice bath.

The good thing is that at the end of the day I love races and am thankful a million times over for having the ability to be out there racing with a healthy *partially numb* body. What I battle with now is that I am attempting to make triathlon a serious and honest career. Mike and I have been giving up a lot these days to make it possible so racing is a bit more stressful on my end. A sub par result leaves me on the verge of tears feeling that I’ve let down my team. I believe in myself yet races are making me wildly nervous. I am trying to get to the top as fast as I possibly can though races are the only way to slowly claw your way to success and a bad race is hard to swallow. Can you tell I am a nervous reck? It is all good! I’m smiley and happy. This is what makes us feel alive…right?